


Pot brownies, a nun and car accidents

by Bisexuallama



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gen, I Was Drunk When I Wrote This
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:00:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25749295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bisexuallama/pseuds/Bisexuallama
Summary: Kara takes pot brownies and somehow convinces Lena to go to the zoo.
Relationships: Alex Danvers & Kelly Olsen, Alex Danvers/Kelly Olsen, Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Querl Dox/Nia Nal
Comments: 21
Kudos: 181





	Pot brownies, a nun and car accidents

Lena Luthor walked through the door of her apartment. 

"Kara?" She called out for her girlfriend. 

"I'm in the kitchen!" 

The brunette smiled. "Of course you are" 

She took off her heels and placed them neatly beside the door before taking off her coat as well. Lena walked into the kitchen and saw her girlfriend eating at the kitchen counter. Having heard her footsteps, Kara turned around on the stool to greet her girlfriend properly.

Lena sat on the blonde's lap with her arm around her shoulder. Kara cupped her cheek and pressed her lips onto her girlfriend's soft ones. The brunette moaned slightly at the unexpected, intimate contact, but put her hand on the reporter's neck, pulling her closer. After a short while, Lena broke the kiss. She looked into her girlfriend's eyes and noticed that they were red. 

"Kara, are you fucking high?" Lena asked, sliding off of the other woman's lap. 

"I don't know" The blonde shrugged. She grabbed a centerpiece of a brownie that was in a tinfoil box. "These brownies are delicious" She said before taking a bite out of the brownie. "They taste so different than any brownie I've ever had! And I've had a lot of brownies!" 

The brunette businesswoman inspected a piece of chocolate brownie from the box. She took a bite out of it and chewed it slowly. "They taste different because they have weed in them!" 

"Oops" Kara giggled. 

"Where did you get this?" 

"It got delivered to me an hour ago"

Lena rubbed her temples out of frustration. "So, you don't know who sent the brownies to you or why, but you still took the risk of eating it?" 

"Free food is free food no matter what" Kara said, reaching out to take another piece of brownie out of the box. 

The brunette grabbed the box before her girlfriend. "That's enough pot brownies for today" She said, throwing the brownies into the trash can. 

"Whyyyy?!!" The reporter pouted. "You killed Carl! What did those innocent brownies ever do to you?!" 

"Who the fuck is Carl?" 

"The edge piece of the brownies. He was the only survivor and you killed him!" Kara gasped. 

"I'm too sober for this" Lena muttered. "We have to take your mind off of Carl. My schedule's cleared for the day so I don't see why we can't go out. Where do you want to go?" 

"I wanna...go to the zoo!" Kara exclaimed. 

Lena scoffed. "Absolutely not" 

.. And that is how Lena and Kara found themselves at the National City zoo. The pair walked arm in arm while they explored different parts of the zoo. They came to a stop at the monkey exhibit. The blonde wondered something...

"Lena?" 

"Hm?" 

Kara took a bite of her frozen yogurt. "Do you think Tarzan was a virgin before he met Jane or do you think he just clapped Gorilla cheeks?" 

The brunette looked at the other woman in horror and slight fascination. "I pray for God to take away my ability to hear. What the hell did that pot do to your head?" 

"I don't even know" The kryptonian giggled. 

"For the sake of my sanity, please keep those thoughts to yourself next time" Lena smiled. "So, what animal do you want to see next?" 

"Reptiles!" The blonde exclaimed, grabbing her girlfriend's hand and dragging her to the exhibit on the other side of the zoo. "They got a new kind of snake and it's supposed to be really scary" 

"Honey, if I wanted to look at snakes, I would have invited my mother and brother to join us" 

Kara let out a loud gasp and playfully hit the other woman's arm. "Hey! That's not very nice. Even though it's true" She muttered that last bit. 

A nun with one blue eye on her right and one silver on her left rung a bell in her hand. "Masturbation is a sin! Fingers are made for turning Bible pages, not for putting them inside of yourself, ladies!" She shouted at the couple. 

Lena couldn't help herself and stopped to turn around and look at the nun. "What if you need to moisten your fingers to turn the page?" She grinned. 

The nun opened her mouth in shock. Once she regained herself, she sprinkled a bit of holy water on the brunette. "I will pray for you, my dear child. May God have mercy on you when he saves your soul" 

"That's nice, but her soul doesn't need saving anymore" Kara said with a smile as she squeezed Lena's hand. "Uh Lena? I can feel the weed wearing off" 

"Well, it's about time" The brunette said. "Don't get me wrong. Stoned Kara is cute, but I prefer you much better when you're sober" She placed a kiss on her cheek. 

"Kara? Lena?" 

Kara and Lena turned around when the familiar feminine called out for them from behind. 

"Kelly! Alex! Hii" The blonde smiled as she rushed to hug her injured sister and her girlfriend. 

Alex groaned. "You're breaking my ribs, Kara" 

"Oh uh..sorry" The kryptonian put the two women down, careful not to hurt them. 

Kelly took a second look at the woman before her to check if what she was seeing was correct. "Kara, are you high?" She asked, noticing her red eyes. 

Kara let out a nervous laugh. "Noo" She fiddled with her glasses. "I was just..crying" 

"Oh. Why were you crying then?" 

"Because..uhm.. I was watching a movie" 

"What movie?" Alex knitted her eyebrows together as she leaned on one of her crutches. 

"Yeah Kara. What movie?" Lena asked, knowing damn well that she wasn't watching a movie. 

Kara glared at her girlfriend. "Marley & Me" 

Alex snapped her fingers. "Lie! You've only watched Marley & Me once in your life and after that you swore you were never gonna watch that movie again because Marley's death hurt your feelings" 

The kryptonian bit on her bottom lip. "Okay okay" She gave in. "I accidentally got high off some brownies" 

"Oh, so that's why I never got them" Alex nodded. 

"Why would you need pot brownies?" 

"A friend of mine works in the medical field. He suggested Medical Marijuana to numb and decrease the pain in my leg" The redhead motioned to her broken leg that was covered by a white cast. 

"How'd you get injured anyway?" Lena tilted her head. 

"I hurt myself in combat" Alex shrugged. 

"Now who's lying?" Kelly raised an eyebrow. "Someone hit her with a car yesterday" 

"Oh my Rao. Are you okay?" The blonde used her x-ray vision to check for broken bones in her sister's body. 

"I'm fine, Kara. Really" Alex smiled at her sister. "Oh hey there's Brainy with Nia" She pointed at the couple. 

"Greetings, friends" Brainy waved at the women as he approached them. 

"Woah. Alex, what happened to your leg?" Nia asked, noticing the cast. 

"Nothing major" Alex cleared her throat. 

"Isn't it weird how none of us planned to run into each other at the zoo, but somehow we did?" Kelly said, wrapping her hands around her girlfriend's arms. 

"Yeah…but it's not a bad coincidence" Kara said. "We're still on for J'onn's surprise party on Saturday right?" 

"Yep" Alex and Kelly answered in unison. 

"I'm afraid I will have to miss that" Brainy frowned. "I have court on Saturday" 

"Court?" Lena asked with her head tilted to the side. 

"I may have accidentally hit someone with Nia's car yesterday as I was attempting to learn how to drive" Brainy answered. He looked down at his redheaded friend's leg. "So, Alex, how did you injure your leg?" 

Nia realized something. "Oh God.." 

"Someone hit me with a car" Alex said through gritted teeth. 

"Oh" Brainy nodded. His eyes widened when he realized that HE was the one who hit Alex with a car. "OH" 

Lena tapped Brainy on the shoulder. "This is the part where you run for your life" 

Brainy didn't have to be told twice. He sprinted past Kara and Lena as fast as inhumanly possible. 

"Brainy!" Alex yelled, furiously. She attempted to run after the man, but her broken leg and crutches prevented her from doing so. "Come back here, you little shit!" She yelled as she grabbed one of her crutches and chucked it at Brainy. The redhead laughed victoriously when the crutch hit him in the back, making him fall face-first onto the ground. 

"We can't take them anywhere" Nia shook her head in utter disappointment. 

"Agreed" Kelly sighed. 

Lena snorted. "I'm happy to say that I don't have that problem with K- Kara! Put the penguin DOWN!!"

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this at 3am after watching TAWOG
> 
> Tumblr: @biwolfz
> 
> Have a great fucking day :)


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